PR Manual: When In Crisis: Dress The Part!

Dear Chris Brown,
Your interview with Larry King was a P.R. tour de force! A page ripped right from the book of image repair! Lesson one: Dress the part!

Try my gourmet popping corn!

Never have I been more convinced that Chris is a good guy.
But I can't blame you for trying ... Dressing for success is a pivotal part of sending out the right message. Par example:

Lil' Kim, who gave false testimony to a Grand Jury, clearly got the bowtie memo... Actually, maybe she wrote the bowtie memo! Her pasties set carefully aside on her bedside table, (or at the very least, under this blazer,) a pastel pink suit is a downright delicious outfit for appealing to a Federal Court judge!
The verdict - a year and a day in prison.

I'll have one scoop of tutti-frutti, and one scoop of mint chip.

Winona Ryder shoplifting trial:
Coat securely buttoned all the way up, check. Headband, check. Sensible handbag you have a receipt for, check. Appropriate look of stern resolve, check.
Verdict: Not guilty of burglary, but guilty of vandalism and felony.

You can be sure she has the receipts for everything she's wearing.

Phil Spector Murder Trial:
Um... okay.

Note to Phyllis Diller: Check your walk-in closet.
- I think you'll find a wig missing.

While the pocket square is a nice touch... I mean, how could a jury NOT think he was irrational with that hair? Verdict: Guilty of murder. Coincidence?

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I'm a Journalist and standup comic. I create and appear in television and web media. I've been seen on NBC, MSNBC, United Airlines in flight TV. (and some other more unusual fodder, including a 'how-to' video where I teach people how to wrap glassware for moving...I mean, really - it's essentially rolling glasses in paper... you can't make that stuff up!) I own more than two hundred cookbooks, but use the same five all the time, and even those are often abandoned in favor of epicurious.com. I design art and interiors for both friends and actual clients. I've spoken to Major Universities and NYC corporations about media and publicity. I am embarassed by many of the songs on my IPOD, and can't resist a Nacho flavored Slim Jim. I drink up to eight diet cokes a day.