Sesame Street's Swipe at Fox News

As mentioned, I love the Muppets... one might argue that Bill O'Reilly is somewhat right in that there is a subtle swipe at Fox News here... that said, I agree with Sesame Workshop! It's worth it to engage the adults.
Fun video clip below:

Disturbing And Powerful

Planestupid.com is using a shocking tactic to tell people about the greenhouse gases emitted during air travel.

Even when something is computer generated, it can still be shocking and upsetting to watch.

Message received.

Too Awesome Not To Post

I'll admit it - I love anything involving the Muppets.

This Muppet Version of 'Bohemian Rhapsody' is currently the most searched, sent and clicked viral video on the web.
It's not to be missed. I also appreciate the cleverness of using Animal to just ramble "Mama" over all the lyrics involving "I just killed a man, put a gun up to his head, pulled the trigger now he's dead" blah dee blah.


Oprah's Next Move

2009 AFI Film Festival Premiere of Precious

'Even I can't believe how rich I am!'

Oprah's packing up her syndicated show bags (in 2011) and moving... but not far.
Ask anybody - ask her dog, for crying out loud, and they'll tell you that she's more than likely going to set up shop at her own network, which not so coincidentally will have launched earlier in 2010.

Her world domination continues...

More HERE...

The "Chicken Selects Defense"

I know there is nothing funny about this story. But it defies explanation.
Diane Schuler was this woman in New York who allegedly drove drunk and killed eight people in a wrong-way crash. She too was killed. Horrific tragedy.

Her family, who contends she was NOT high or drunk when she was killed, is being sued... and their lawyer contends that Diane could NOT have been drunk or high! Why? She gave a VERY COMPLICATED order at the McDonalds Drive Thru just before the crash.

McDonald's Same Store Sales Up 7.1 Percent In January

Um. Yes. That's right.
The attorney says that she ordered chicken selects during breakfast time - which ANY McDonalds connoisseur, (moi) can tell you they don't sell in the morning. BUT the lawyer says Diane KNEW that... and the fact that she was lucid enough to beg for the chicken selects is proof enough she wasn't trippin.'

Where is Matlock when you need him?

The full story HERE.
And finally, an addendum:
I was distraught when McDonald's first introduced the Chicken Selects - touting them as more 'real' meat (or something like that.) WHA? I like my processed McNuggets, thank you - don't rub your fancy white meat selects in my face.


Dakota - Why is She Growing Up While I Remain Ageless?

You know what's hard? You know what your parents never warn you about? That someday, a child star you grew up with thinking 'Oh they're such a cute kid' is going to grow up - and be, like, a woman, while you were thinking you yourself had never gotten any older.

Case in point, Dakota Fanning:


I met Dakota Fanning while doing a shoot on the set of "Dreamer" - when she was, as they say, knee high to a grasshopper or something. She was charming and articulate, and obviously a gifted actress. How come she is growing up and I remain ageless?

This is How Many Dollars Nic Cage Has Now:

Nicolas Cage

Wanna have dinner? You're buyin.'

How many cars Nic Cage had: 22.
How many cars you need: 1 or 2.

How many yachts Nic Cage reportedly had: 4
How many yachts you need: probably none, but let's go with 1.

How many castles Nic Cage had: 2
How many castles ... oh you get the idea.

Most of us never come into this kind of money. While fantasizing about winning the lottery, I always tell myself I'll never become one of those sad stories about the person who just didn't know how to manage all that wealth and pissed it all away.

Nic Cage won the career lottery, and he has become that person.

Read about it everywhere. Or at CNN.

Wishing Charo a Cuchi Cuchi Quickie Recovery!!

Full Disclosure: I am personal friends with Charo.I adore her and stay in touch with her every few months, since working with her a number of years ago.So I'm sorry to see that Charo suffered a leg injury recently... as evidenced by this photo:

Charo Wears A Brace At A Med Building In LA

To the left of Charo is her sister - a talented seamstress who makes many of those sexy-wexy costumes you see her in all the time... notice the resemblance? Remarkable!
Thankfully, Charo is more than capable of entertaining folks with her incredible Flamenco Guitar talents... don't count her out!


When Does She Technically Begin "Going Rogue"?

Gov. Sarah Palin
"Thanks for flying 'Alaska Airlines.' There's going to be some turbulence."

The drama continues with the Palinator... Oddly enough, despite calling her tome "Going Rogue," much of the book centers around accusations that she was always doing what campaign staffers told her to do... resulting in a virtual comedy of errors. (Which begs the question - when was, or is, she 'going rogue' - when she constantly blames everything she says and does on other people reportedly pulling the strings?

The New York Times has the background on the expression, which apparently arose from Palin's departures from Campaign advice... but more and more stories on the book point to the fact that more often that not, at least according to Palin, she did what she was told.
(Of course, the "It wasn't me - it was them" excuse seems squarely directed at what went wrong rather than what went right.)

Then there's the infamous interview she did with Katie Couric...
According to TVnewser, Palin claims she was essentially forced, (or assertively convinced) to do with Katie by her staffer, who claimed Katie had 'low self esteem' since taking the evening news job. Suddenly Palin claims she 'felt sorry for her,' and conceded to the interview.
What Palin doesn't seem to be able to explain away is why she did so horribly with the multi part interview, (during none of which does Katie seem the least bit insecure, I might add.)

Because everyone loves an encore - the Couric Interview...

Watch CBS News Videos Online

Sex Tape Shocker! On HLN

My thanks to the gang at "Showbiz Tonight" for having me over to talk all things Carrie Prejean, Sarah Palin and Michael Lohan - the three finishing off the week in a competition of infamy. Here's a sampling of the interview:

Had a blast! The full clip coming soon!

Brian Balthazar


Today's "Head's Up" - Extortion Plots Rarely Work


"Don't Mess With The Crawford"

Hey kids! Today we've got an important life lesson - if you gots yourself some dirt on someone - think twice - wait - three times before you decide to plan an extortion plot you think is failsafe.

Just ask David Letterman, John Travolta, or in this case, Cindy Crawford.
As just about everyone is reporting (but in this case, the Chicago Tribune,)

Cindy and her husband, Randy Gerber were victims of a $110K extortion plot involving a pic taken by their former nanny.

Needless to say, this is ending badly for the con-folk.

The Only Way to Cope Is With Cats

Props to Gawker, who always finds the gems in morning television.

As unusual as the story is, what's even MORE hysterical is the deadpan delivery of anchor Chris Cuomo and Correspondent Elizabeth Vargas when they deliver it with all the veritas of a piece on the Mid-East crisis:

"Inside the Secret World of Cat Ladies"

"I like to keep these cats in my dresser."

The way Chris Cuomo says "Cat Ladies" (with a straight face nonetheless) is enough to make you wet yourself. But it only gets better from there.

A few of my favorite lines from the intro are only done justice when you watch the link!
"What happens when a love of feline friends grows out of control???"
"Filmmaker Kristi Callan Jones shined a light on the often shadowy lives of self professed cat ladies." "They feel the only way to cope is with cats... LOTS and LOTS of cats..."

I find this cat obsession fascinating because in my experience, Cats tend to behave like they could totally go on without you.

Hey, Michael Lohan! Remember jail? Ready for an Encore?

Michael Lohan outside Beso restaurant in Hollywood

I could have used a flattering photo, but you understand.

Michael Lohan, the poster child for fatherhood (although he has competition in Jon Gosselin and Richard Heene) and papa to Lindsay, could land himself in jail again.

Mr. Lohan apparently taped telephone conversations he had with ex-wife, parenting expert Dina Lohan about Lilo. (Of course, class act Michael leaked the tapes.) Sadly, on top of just being downright narsty, it was in violation of a restraining order. Now, I knows what you're thinking - how? Thing is, the order included any phone contact with Dina, who could potentially see the calls as harassment.

The calls include rumors about Lindsay cutting and hurting herself, as well as a fling with Heath Ledger. (What???)

It can sometimes be easy to be snarky on a report like this, but more than anything it's just plain sad. Lindsay is clearly going through some issues of her own, and with parents like these, it's not so shocking...

TMZ got reax from Lindsay - who takes a deserved diss at her dad.

If Levi Shows Up, He's Sitting At The Kids Table

View more news videos at: http://www.nbcchicago.com/video.

"What's your question again? I want to make sure I efficiently dodge it..."

The LA Times has the lowdown and first clips of Sarah Palin's interview with Oprah, which is fresh from Oprah's oven and will be brought to the table on Monday.

Opting for her luxurious tresses to be worn down, rather than in her signature (and Tina Fey replicated) up-do, Palin did her usual dance around questions, particularly when it comes to whether Levi Johnston will be invited over for Thanksgiving.

"That's a good question," she said. One which she never did actually answer.

Oprah also asked about her seminal interview with Katie Couric... which, in my opinion, marked the decline of the McCain Palin ticket... It's one thing to dance around the question of Thanksgiving dinner, but quite another to hedge on your approach to foreign policy.

Enjoy the rich Oprah goodness...

Carrie Wrote the Book on Inappropriate!!

Donald Trump Press Conference In Regards To Miss California USA

I'll walk off ... I mean it...

There are some people who can't seem to open their mouths without sparking another controversy. And so, Miss Carrie Prejean is at it again...

The Former Miss California is now headlining in her own sextape... shot by her ex-boyfriend back when she was twenty years old... (although she was hoping we'd fall for 17, since it would make her a minor at the time, and therefore prevent most people from seeing it.)

Note to the young kids of the world: Try to find someone who can honestly say: "I'm so glad I made that sex tape." It's harder to find than Dolly Parton's natural hair.

The San Francisco Gate has every clip you need on this one...

Turns out Carrie isn't so good at fielding questions regarding her settlement with the Miss USA organization... on Larry King Live the other night, when Larry asked about her decision to settle, she could only repeat, ad nauseum, 'That's very inappropriate, Larry..."

While the question was anything BUT offbase, clearly she doesn't know inappropriate when she sees it, or she wouldn't have made the sex tape in the first place!!

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About Me

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I'm a Journalist and standup comic. I create and appear in television and web media. I've been seen on NBC, MSNBC, United Airlines in flight TV. (and some other more unusual fodder, including a 'how-to' video where I teach people how to wrap glassware for moving...I mean, really - it's essentially rolling glasses in paper... you can't make that stuff up!) I own more than two hundred cookbooks, but use the same five all the time, and even those are often abandoned in favor of epicurious.com. I design art and interiors for both friends and actual clients. I've spoken to Major Universities and NYC corporations about media and publicity. I am embarassed by many of the songs on my IPOD, and can't resist a Nacho flavored Slim Jim. I drink up to eight diet cokes a day.