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12/17/09

Tiger Woods As Told by the New York Post

I'm may not agree with everything they write, but you can't beat the New York Post for a cover headline! You have to imagine the copyeditors every night! They must laugh their asses off! I can only imagine that what NEVER gets used is the most hysterical.
And so, in staying in tune with current events for the website and tv appearances, I have come to realize that there are countless puns and double entendres available in the Tiger Woods Story.
Who knew golf had so many opportunities for sexual innuendo?!?

Case in point: some selected NY Post covers from the Tiger Woods story:





You can't deny they know how to write a headline!

12/16/09

Funny Guy: Mike Barish

You know when you see somebody who does something WAY funnier than you and you're slightly annoyed at yourself, and then jealous of them, but ultimately excited at seeing someone being so damned hysterical?

My fascination with the SkyRest Pillow and all things Skymall has led me to discover a VERY funny guy.

His name is Mike Barish... believe it or not, I was introduced to him by the Sky Mall people. We both have a bizarre obsession with the same pillow... but he has turned his into a fantastic photo essay of sorts.

Check out the whole thing at his site.


But here is a taste:




Help Me Understand: The Skymall Catalog

I have strong opinions about Skymall. As you can see:

View more news videos at: http://www.nbcnewyork.com/video.




Al Roker Has A Stalker - A Funny One!

Great spot on the Leno show about an obsessive Roker Fan.

Is It Just Me?

This is a recent shot of Courtney Love. What's happening to her face?

Meanwhile...
Love just lost custody of her 17 year old daughter. I'm not surprised. But honestly - her daughter is 17! Couldn't she have been a good mother for ONE YEAR til she turned 18?

Why Is Dan Lacey Obsessed With Pancakes?

His name is Dan Lacey. He is, most would agree, quite talented at portraiture.
But really?? Why the pancakes?





Turns out, for a lon time he was a small businessman, freelancer and comic illustrator for many years... but for some reason his attention turned to pancakes. Then, he turned to images of Barack Obama. Naked. Not surprisingly, it's gotten some attention.

One might argue, I wouldn't be blogging about Dan Lacey if it weren't for the pancakes.
I first discovered him when I found out he did a painting of my good friends Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb wrestling naked in syrupy pancakes. I'm not including the photo because one of them will kill me if I do. Plus, I think he made them more bootylicious in the painting than was necessary. But I suppose if they liked pancakes enough to wrestle in them, their butts would probably be bigger.
I now realize that they're in pretty good company. Oprah, Hillary Clinton, Susan Boyle and Mother Theresa.
But still, I wonder, why? I hope to ask him someday.

There's an interview with him here. Sadly it offers no insight into the damn pancakes.

PopHangover.com Nails it!

I love pophangover.com/. And they really hit on something with their 9 Funniest Celebrity Photos Of 2009.
Here's a sample.


Not only does Steven Tyler look like your grandmother, he also looks like Janice Dickinson when you wake up at 7am and realize you went to bed with her! Walk of shame, indeed.
Check out their full list at the link above!

12/3/09

Real People Dancing And Smiling for A Good Cause

Call it the Glee effect, and I for one dig it.
More and more 'real' people seem to be into making videos with dancing and singing and the shaking their asses and whatnot.

There's something endlessly amusing to me about people who can't dance, but fearlessly do anyway. This video has received more than 2.4 million hits world-wide-web-wide, and while it's not exactly Fosse, it's for a good cause, kinda fun, and you can't deny the song is certainly catchy. (You'll probably already know the song.)

This is What We've Become

Obviously these two have a sense of humor... and so did the congregation!


12/2/09

Say WHAT? Family Ties' Meredith Baxter Comes out of Obscurity AND The Closet

We can now change the "Family Ties" theme to:
"I've bet we've been together for a million years... and I'll bet you'll be a lesbian for a million more..."


Academy Of Television Arts & Sciences' "Father's Day Salute To TV Dads"


The always lovely and entertaining Meredith Baxter, formerly Meredith Baxter Birney until she divorced her husband David, has decided late in life that not only is she over David, she's over men altogether.

Baxter bravely admitted on the Today Show that she is a lesbian.
Read more at The National Enquirer.com

Tiger Caught On Tape!

Who would have thought a fender bender in your own backyard could explode into such a mess.

Tiger woods, you know the rest blah blah car accident, blah blah gorgeous wife but still suspected of having multiple affairs, seems pretty much busted in a voicemail he left for one of his alleged mistresses.

USweekly.com has the voicemail right here


2009 Australian Masters - Day 4


He's gonna have his own one of these handed to him over this.

12/1/09

Tiger ReEnactment Not To Be Missed!

Thanks to Tvnewser.com for this great link... an overseas news organization's compelling re-enactment of the Tiger Woods story - complete with computer animation of Tiger and his wife!


Hulk Hogan Getting Married! America Didn't Know He Was Dating!

Sorry to disappoint all you single ladies, but someone else is "putting a ring on it."
A future Mrs. Hulk Hogan is in the works...

Hulk Hogan's Hulkamania Tour Hits Perth

Are those wedding bells I hear? Or are my ears ringing from all the blows to the head?

I'm sorry -but if someone ever told me that Hulk Hogan would be getting this many headlines in the year 2009, I truly wouldn't believe them. I would have filed them under the category of 'millennium bug conspiracy theorists' and those people who think Elvis is still alive.


But there is actual Hulk Hogan "news" - he is marrying again. (America didn't even know he was dating!) But this time to a christian girlfriend who doesn't like to read newspapers and probably hates 'rude people.'


According to a FoxNews.com article:
“If you’re in my home and watching TV, you have to watch the science channel or the history channel or cartoons..."


The cartoons line certainly brought my impression of her down a bit.


The wrestler also claims he hates confrontation of any kind. (Unless, I imagine, he's doing it for lots and lots of money.) I mean, he's a wrestler, right? Isn't that slightly confrontational?

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I'm a Journalist and standup comic. I create and appear in television and web media. I've been seen on NBC, MSNBC, United Airlines in flight TV. (and some other more unusual fodder, including a 'how-to' video where I teach people how to wrap glassware for moving...I mean, really - it's essentially rolling glasses in paper... you can't make that stuff up!) I own more than two hundred cookbooks, but use the same five all the time, and even those are often abandoned in favor of epicurious.com. I design art and interiors for both friends and actual clients. I've spoken to Major Universities and NYC corporations about media and publicity. I am embarassed by many of the songs on my IPOD, and can't resist a Nacho flavored Slim Jim. I drink up to eight diet cokes a day.