This Just In: Don't Believe Anyone When They Tell You ANYTHING

Poor Falcon... he's definitely a victim in all this... God forbid he's every truly swept away in a hot air balloon, because no one will believe him!

Experimental Balloon Takes Flight Purportedly With Boy Aboard

His dad, Richard Heene, not so much a victim... but he has accomplished the impossible... making Jon Gosselin look like a good father!

Experimental Balloon Takes Flight Purportedly With Boy Aboard

I can only hope he doesn't profit from this.
But the biggest victim is the viewing public... done in by a world where "Candid Camera" and "Punk'd" has blended with real life. There is something sad about living in a time when "the news becomes farce. This whole stunt apparently an effort to create buzz for a 'reality' show.
(Long ago there were things called "documentaries" that tried to capture real moments and real stories...)

I'll get off the soap box now. I'm as much a viewer of the campy deliciousness that is 'reality' television. But when it collides to horrifically with the things I want to believe, it turns me on my ear.


Dear Febreze: If It Were Up To You, I Wouldn't Actually Wash Anything.

Dear Febreze,
Thank you for removing a tremendous burden from my life.
Gone are the tiresome days spent picking up my dirty laundry and cleaning it.
Thanks to your product, I can "wash" an entire room with Febreze!!

Moms can take comfort in knowing that those crusty socks at the end of their teen's bed just need a quick spray, and they're good as new!

PS - Women everywhere are looking forward to your douche.


Liz Taylor Update: She's Having Surgery, Still Wears Blue Eye Shadow, And Uses her Twitter Account More Than Most Of Us.

I do likes me the Liz Taylor, and I hope she emerges from her heart procedure safely.

27th Annual Macy's Passport Fashion Show Benefit_Show

But I buried the lead: Liz notified the public of her upcoming surgery to fix a leaky valve via her TWITTER account. Um, she's 77. Most 77 year olds I know do not know how to 'run' a computer, let alone have a Twitter account. So rock on, L-Tay.

She also says she will notify her followers of the procedure the minute it's over and she's lucid enough to thumb her way across the tiny keys on her portable computing device.

Tom DeLay Has Mercy On Our Souls

His two left feet both done been broken.

Tom DeLay, who dazzled, or rather, horrified us with his dancing, has pulled out of Dancing With The Stars.

Guilty Of Crimes Against Dance.

Stress fractures in both feet, quite possibly God's way of preventing nationwide hysterical blindness in DWTS viewers, have forced DeLay to put his sequined blazers aside and sit out the rest of the competition.

DeLay, who actually appeared visibly shaken and distraught about this withdrawal, was to perform the two-step next week. Host Tom Bergeron offered DeLay the opportunity to perform what I now coin "The Forbidden Dance" during the finale if he is sufficiently healed.

Note to Jon Gosselin: Nancy Grace will cut you!

Haven't you always wanted SOMEONE to tear Jon a new one?
Score one for Nancy Grace!

I also love watching Lara Spencer try to play nicey nicey mediating the discussion.

100 GREATEST YOUTUBE HITS - The Condensed Version

Need to catch up on the latest in viral videos? Before you look ahead... look back!

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About Me

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I'm a Journalist and standup comic. I create and appear in television and web media. I've been seen on NBC, MSNBC, United Airlines in flight TV. (and some other more unusual fodder, including a 'how-to' video where I teach people how to wrap glassware for moving...I mean, really - it's essentially rolling glasses in paper... you can't make that stuff up!) I own more than two hundred cookbooks, but use the same five all the time, and even those are often abandoned in favor of epicurious.com. I design art and interiors for both friends and actual clients. I've spoken to Major Universities and NYC corporations about media and publicity. I am embarassed by many of the songs on my IPOD, and can't resist a Nacho flavored Slim Jim. I drink up to eight diet cokes a day.