9/11/09

Aniston: For The Last Freakin' Time: I'm Not Lonely!



Have you ever been somewhere, like a party - and your ex shows up? And while you think he or she is watching you, you pretend not to KNOW they're watching... and suddenly you're all smiles, every joke is ten times funnier... you're all like: "I've never had so much fun being single and without my ex who's across the room!" Jennifer Aniston has been put in the unfortunate position of being 'that girl.'


Jennifer Aniston gets handcuffed by Gerard Butler on the set of The Bounty in NYC

I'm NOT MISERABLE, dammit!

She's rich, she's hot, she's funny - and yet - damn, she can't escape being the 'lonely girl.' It turns out she agrees with me. She tell's E! that she's a little amused (read: annoyed) by being portrayed as the proverbial Debbie Downer lonely lady. (My words, not hers. Read the interview so you get the real deal.)

She also tells Fox News that's she's taking a break from showbiz. Until ... JANUARY! Oh my God! That's like TWO WEEKS in Hollywood time! I mean - I thought they all took four month breaks between films anyway.

She's already got a film in post production so we're not likely to notice. Not to mention the tabloids will probably still take pictures of her buying groceries. (It's true! Stars are just like US!)



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I'm a Journalist and standup comic. I create and appear in television and web media. I've been seen on NBC, MSNBC, United Airlines in flight TV. (and some other more unusual fodder, including a 'how-to' video where I teach people how to wrap glassware for moving...I mean, really - it's essentially rolling glasses in paper... you can't make that stuff up!) I own more than two hundred cookbooks, but use the same five all the time, and even those are often abandoned in favor of epicurious.com. I design art and interiors for both friends and actual clients. I've spoken to Major Universities and NYC corporations about media and publicity. I am embarassed by many of the songs on my IPOD, and can't resist a Nacho flavored Slim Jim. I drink up to eight diet cokes a day.