Dakota - Why is She Growing Up While I Remain Ageless?

You know what's hard? You know what your parents never warn you about? That someday, a child star you grew up with thinking 'Oh they're such a cute kid' is going to grow up - and be, like, a woman, while you were thinking you yourself had never gotten any older.

Case in point, Dakota Fanning:


I met Dakota Fanning while doing a shoot on the set of "Dreamer" - when she was, as they say, knee high to a grasshopper or something. She was charming and articulate, and obviously a gifted actress. How come she is growing up and I remain ageless?

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I'm a Journalist and standup comic. I create and appear in television and web media. I've been seen on NBC, MSNBC, United Airlines in flight TV. (and some other more unusual fodder, including a 'how-to' video where I teach people how to wrap glassware for moving...I mean, really - it's essentially rolling glasses in paper... you can't make that stuff up!) I own more than two hundred cookbooks, but use the same five all the time, and even those are often abandoned in favor of epicurious.com. I design art and interiors for both friends and actual clients. I've spoken to Major Universities and NYC corporations about media and publicity. I am embarassed by many of the songs on my IPOD, and can't resist a Nacho flavored Slim Jim. I drink up to eight diet cokes a day.