Tom DeLay Has Mercy On Our Souls

His two left feet both done been broken.

Tom DeLay, who dazzled, or rather, horrified us with his dancing, has pulled out of Dancing With The Stars.

Guilty Of Crimes Against Dance.

Stress fractures in both feet, quite possibly God's way of preventing nationwide hysterical blindness in DWTS viewers, have forced DeLay to put his sequined blazers aside and sit out the rest of the competition.

DeLay, who actually appeared visibly shaken and distraught about this withdrawal, was to perform the two-step next week. Host Tom Bergeron offered DeLay the opportunity to perform what I now coin "The Forbidden Dance" during the finale if he is sufficiently healed.